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| Crossposted on DareTo, Xanga and MySpace. Yes, it's that important.
People ask me, "What are you doing in Florida?", and I don't have an answer for them anymore. I'm not going to school, I don't have a particularly location-oriented job, and I don't have family out here, save the three other beings living in my house. My family (and Trevor's family, for that matter) lives 3000 miles away. Coming from the close-knit families as we do, it's been rough.
The other day, we were in Naples, looking out onto the Gulf of Mexico, pretending we were actually looking out onto the Pacific. When I said "Lets move home", it wasn't just far-fetched thinking anymore.
We're doing it.
Come late April/early May, these happy campers are making the trip back across the country (sans tour busses) to move into (hopefully) our own little home in the Bay Area (preferably Alameda).
This little adventure has run its course. Why, if I wanted to live as an adult, did I move all the way out here? I don't regret it, but I've learned whats really important. And being dramatic and saying "I'm moving to freaking Florida" isn't important to me anymore. Yes, I want to keep living this happy little life with my wonderful boyfriend, yes I want to keep being the adult that I am, but that doesn't involve leaving everyone I love.
Also...
I'm marching this summer.
I know! I know. I said "heck no, can't afford it." But I'm going to be back in California about a month before Memorial Day, and I've been without corps for way too long. Cascades was an experience, but like living in Florida, an adventure that ran it's course. There is a handfull of people I will dearly miss, and keep in touch with now, but the organization wasn't for me. I was born and bred Blue. That's right, I'll be back with B Corps this summer. I should have done it last year, instead of searching for something more....maybe I'd be with Chris and Austin right now. But you know what? It doesn't matter. Because I'm marching with Patrick and Jessika again, along with my loveable trumpet girls...I'm going to be back where I belong.
I told Trev, "It'll be just like 04! Except, we'll be together for real, and not have to meet up at Motel 6's to sleep together."
I have Div I experience, which will help me continue to be the role model at BDB that I've always strived to be. I'm not going to ask for solos or section leader...let the people who will be there all spring have those. (Unless of course, they want me to be :P ) No, I'm kidding. I'm just glad to be back in the correct uniform, with the corps with the right mentality, with the staff I absolutely love.
Patrick, wanna be my seat partner? | | |
| Whoaaaaa posting!
MAJOR THIRD. You fill in the hollowness...you are
the emotion in the chord. You want life to be
rich and full for yourself and everyone around
you. Beloved by Classical and Romantic
composers alike, you just want peace and
tranquility for all mankind. Unfortunately,
most of the post-World-War II composers hate
you, but you tend to think that most music
since 1945 is crap, anyways.
What musical interval are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
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| While it kills me to say this, the cone that resided in my Explorer all tour, that was stolen from some road work going on near Mars, and has "BDB" scratched on it from my Sharpie when we were all changing in the lot at Sunnyvale, will not be going with me to Florida.
I know, I know...it's a tragedy.
But perhaps you can keep the legacy alive. Save your parking spot at Mars with it. Yell at your section through it. Save spots for latecomers at Wendy's or Taco Bell or The Plahza with it. Mark warmup sites with it.
This peice of history could be yours for a mere donation of a couple hours of hangout time with Chels! No where else would you be offered this incredible deal (unless of course PJPorche stole it from me) so take advantage of it now! Time's running short, I move in June 17th.
♥Chels | | |
| Wow. I'm so tired of being number two. Why do I put up with it?
Trev's moving in with me and Kelli come August, but now that he's like 4 days away from moving out of Arizona, he's all depressed about it and shit cuz all the sudden Nikki stopped being a bitch, and oh look, they're all cuddly and shit again.
Ugh. Fuck that shit. I sit here and wonder how the hell he puts up with it, but then I realize, oh hey, paralell situation. I'm always there for him, I always will be. I'm the safe, dependable one. She was the girl he never thought he could have, while me, I don't think I could hurt him if I tried. Yeah, he's moving in with me, but there's just this feeling of I'm not that one. Of course we'll be happy when we're sleeping in the same bed everynight, anyway around one another... but I also know how good I can be for him. It's damn time he figured out how he can be good for me, if this is gonna work.
I know it'll be fine between us, he won't do anything like in the past if we're living together, it's just my ego. I'm the safe one. He knows how I feel, and how I'll treat him, because for some reason, he's THAT guy to me.
Its ridiculous, all the shit hes said he loves about Nikki, I did, until...ugh. whatever. She's skinny, gorgeous, tan, has perfect boobs, and has a killer personality (except for kissing and starting a relationship with a boy who she knows damn well is mucho liked by a good friend. but I'm not bitter.) How the hell am I supposed to compete with that?
Karma is a fucking bitch. I said it about Trev getting burned by Nikki, but it's true for me to. It's so true. I'm not usually the person who is wanting someone so bad and not getting it. but with him...FUCK. I hate it. I hate it so much. It's not with every guy, it's HIM. It's so frustrating. I can make out with other guys, have fun, have a fling, and not think twice about it. But not this. Super lame. Knowing I'm not first pick, I'm "safe".
blah.
I KNOW we'll be happy when he moves in, it's just I know myself, and I know that will always be in my head unless something proves me wrong. I'm so scared of getting hurt again, despite everything telling me that it'll be okay, really. So I've been kinda a jerk occasionally...he just asked me if I'm trying tp push him away...and it's not that at all. God no. I'm trying to stay aloof, from getting too close when he's still mooning over her. Apparently I'm not doing that great of a job. | | |
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